Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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