I CAN MOONWALK!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
