One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
