Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
