these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
