Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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