I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
