She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
