i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
