Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Holy shit dude........stairs
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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