I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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