So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
