Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
