Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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