Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
