I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
