porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
i believe in u and ur pee
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
