After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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