I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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