I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
