peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
