I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
