If i come over, it means nothing
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
