Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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