id be glad to
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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