i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
