I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
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