A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Randomize
