The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
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