Need sex. Gaining weight.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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