you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
