Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
