i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
