what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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