his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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