I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Life is so much better after having sex.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
