biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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