my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
