You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I have feelings that need drinking.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
