You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
