I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize
