i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
