When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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