we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
