my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
