he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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