how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
