drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
