she woke up with a sticky ear
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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