my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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