I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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