Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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