is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
