i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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