Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
